so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the condom got lost in my hair
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
