I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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