I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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