my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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