Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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