I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
