I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
