i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Be still, my beating vagina.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
