Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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