We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
