She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wish they made helmets for livers.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
