singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
