I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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