Your face is a jimmy john
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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