I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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