No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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