I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
