As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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