It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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