Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Someone signed my nipple.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
