im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
