There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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