Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
