I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
