there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
