He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
