so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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