i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
