Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
