turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
