I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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