R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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