do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
