I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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