9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
a search helicopter?!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
