I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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