I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
