if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
