fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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