Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
