He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
