I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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