So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Say something about gay babies.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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