i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
