I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
