just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
