...so i touched it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
