ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
