we're chasing vodka with high fives
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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