I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
there's paper in my vomit.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
